Dispatches from the trenches…

Posted: November 24, 2012 in Uncategorized
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Yes, it has been some time (feels like way too long) since I’ve posted anything. There’s no one singular reason, just a feeling that I needed to get some other things lined up in their proper priority, before I returned to my work here.

Last we met, I was just returning from the Kairos weekend at Eastham Prison. As always, God is glorified during these events, and hope in a life with Christ becomes something our Participants can grab onto with both hands, and make into a reality for themselves. I am honored and humbled to share in such rewarding and meaningful service to the Kingdom of God.

I am also honored and humbled to serve Him at my home church, stretching beyond what I thought I could do, and more importantly, what I thought I should do, and into the newly discovered country of continuing in faith what I was already doing, and no more than that. I have found myself flat upon my face a great many times the last couple of weeks, oscillating between thankfulness at His grace and mercy, and disgust at my own sinful heart; He is revealing things about myself I would rather not have known, but it is His infinite wisdom that prevails…thus may I be healed when I ask forgiveness for my pride, for my lack of trust, for my refusal to follow Him and only Him.

I am also honored and humbled by the level of trust displayed by my employer, who has helped me create the perfect working environment for my needs at this time, while still maintaining productivity and profitability on multiple jobs for multiple clients…I could not imagine a better training scenario, and I am getting paid for it – who writes this stuff?

Beyond all this, Karen is tolerating chemo far better than either of us ever dared to hope. It is wearing on her – the blood counts are dropping, the energy level is dropping, and we are both just a touch paranoid about cold and flu season this year – but she is still willing to make plans and do things, and we are grateful to God more than we can express in mere words.

So I am working out what my actual schedule is, and how much time it leaves me for writing. I am still trying to live my life according to this bible verse; I am learning that it often means doing less things, with more quality. This is a valuable lesson, but I must fight against the reflexive response to abandon everything in frustration, or else I have learned nothing of balance. This is the hardest part for me, but the most important.

What that means for you, O Constant Reader, is that you will have to settle for a few less posts a week. but hopefully those that do appear will be worthy of this blog’s title. The bible lessons will resume next week…I hate to leave a great story when it’s just getting started, even when I’ve seen it before! Beyond that, we will see what each day brings. I seem to be a in a transitional interval – some things have changed, more are going to change, and this is the breath in between; the trick is to remember that life does not stand still, and there is work to do while we are waiting. I will be sending out the occasional update as I navigate this strange country, and deal with the low-level anxiety of not knowing exactly where I am going. Please keep me in your prayers.

Following hard after Him,

and some days are harder than others,

Nicky

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